The “D” Word

I’ve been avoiding the “D” word.

I realize sometimes the only way through something is to speak/write about it.

Death is the only thing in life that is guaranteed,

Yet it’s so surprising 

And so painful!

It’s the only “fair” thing in life

Because everyone will receive it.

Death may be the only thing that makes perfect sense,

But leaves us so confused,

So lost.

We all know it’s coming,

But question why.

Why so soon?

Why now?

Why me?

Why HIM?

Emotions aside,

Death is logical.

It’s definite, 

And so final

In its physical form.

None of us know for sure what happens after.

We have created our own theories.

More so to help us cope,

To give us hope,

That maybe we will see them again,

Or that they are still here

In a different form.

Believing that makes the loss

More bearable.

But whatever you choose to believe,

Just know one day it will be your turn,

My turn,

And what we do now is what matters

Until then.

I know Main lived his life to the fullest.

He had no regrets.

He showed love genuinely.

He lived in his purpose.

And knowing all of this brings me comfort.

But I am also an emotional being.

And knowing all of this does not diminish my grief.

Although I feel grief is very selfish,

It is still my current state.

And I will remain here,

Until I can convince my emotions 

The logic of death.

Because in my heart,

It doesn’t make sense.

And why is something that’s so definite,

Something we all know is going to happen, 

So hard to understand,

So hard to get through?

And why do I pray

That no one

Will ever have to experience 

This tremendous loss?

Even though I know someday

Everyone will.

🙏🏽🕊