Small Things Are Loud

 I remember one time Main had so much on his plate that I didn't know how to help him. There wasn't anything I could do "for" him. He had to do all the things. And he was like me in the sense that when there's so much, we don't know where to begin. He needed a way to prioritize and visualize his tasks. I knew I needed to do something to help him.

So, I cut up pieces of paper into squares and wrote one thing on each piece. I took the pieces to him and helped him prioritize them. It was a small gesture to help, but the least and maybe even the most that I could do at the time. He could visualize all he had to do, and now they were in order by importance.

There was another time, in the very beginning of our relationship when I was preparing for an art show. I had so much work to do, but he couldn't paint anything for me. He helped me wire some of the paintings, but he couldn't put any paint on the canvas. At least I didn't want him to, because I felt it wouldn't be authentically my artwork if he did. He knew I had a lot to do for each piece before it was complete. There were issues like, fix the nose on this piece, or repaint the ear, etc. 

He made a chart with each piece in a column. For each piece he had me tell him what needed to be done to that piece. Once the chart was made, he created a new column with the amount of time it would take to fix each painting. From there, we figured out how many days were left before I had to have the paintings complete. I ended up having to cancel some other things I had going on so I could work on the paintings, but I had a plan. He helped me make the plan.

I was watching a video today that talked about how your partner should see potential in you that you don't see in yourself. It reminded me of these stories. It reminded me of how we pushed each other along and how we were each other's biggest fan. It also reminded me of other relationships I've been in that did not allow this push. The openness to receive advice and/or help wasn't there.

In a successful relationship, you must be open to giving and receiving a push like this. It may seem like something small, but the bigger picture was the thought and care that came from the small gestures. Knowing he had my back and I also had his was part of what made us such a great couple. We both wanted each other to win. 

There are so many people in relationships that exclude their partners from their struggles who think they have to do it all themselves. We both knew that we couldn't physically help the other out in these situations, but we also knew there had to be something we could do. We helped each other get organized while also showing each other we were part of the same team. Our teamwork seemed so effortless because we cared so much for each other and wanted each other to win. If he won, I won. If I won, he won. Too many couples are in competition with each other and they have the wrong outlook on the other winning.

 Also, doing things not directly related to the task your partner is struggling with is another way to easily support them. If I worked on a task for many hours at a time, he made a sandwich or ordered food for me. If he had a day away from home all day, I packed a lunch for him. The way he smiled when he grabbed his lunch bag walking out the door was priceless. 

We are both creatives, so we got creative when it came to helping each other out. We didn't keep score. We paid attention and knew when the other needed something. In those moments when we didn't know, we asked, or we spoke up and told the other what we needed. That's getting into another topic about communication, so I'll leave it here.

Pay attention. Listen. Offer help when you can, in the capacity that you are able to. Those small things are loud.

Love y'all.